Gotten Rejected Lately? Read This..

Most of the time, fear of rejection hold us back from trying to start new relationship, and meet new people. Rejection is painful because often we tie it to words such as inadequate, loser and useless, and it's even much more painful to those people who are very touchy or who have low self-esteem. In this post I'll tell you about what rejection really is, and why it's pointless to overwhelm yourself just because you get rejected.

Suppose you are interested in someone , but it turns out you're not his or her cup of tea. Perhaps your looks or religion is the problem. Maybe you are too short, tall, fat or thin etc. Since you don't fit that person's mental image of an ideal mate closely enough, he or she gives you the cold shoulder.

It certainly feels bad if someone rejects you for your looks or something else, but it's not at all yours fault.The individual is simply turning you down because of subjective preferences and tastes. One person may like apples better than mangoes. Does this mean that mangoes is inherently undesirable?

If you have an appealing personality, it will be much easier for you to attract people. But no one can turn on each and every person they meet;even the beautiful and handsome types will have to cope with rejection sometimes.

For example, once while I was watching 'Kaun Banega Crorpati 2 series' on TV, I saw a woman insulted Sharukh khan, who was the host of that program, and refused his request to let him hug her. Sharukh khan is one of the most handsome actor in Bollywood. If someone can reject a man, who is a well-known actor, then it's not that bad if someone gives you the cold shoulder.

Let's consider a different situation.Suppose most of the people reject you not because of your looks or personality, but because you turn them off with your abrasive mannerism. You may think that's certainly yours fault, but it's not your fault if you are angrily rejected by someone because of a personal fault.

No one is obliged to reject you since he finds things about you he doesn't like.They can point out what they don't like about your behavior, or they can learn not to let it bother them so much.Of course, they have the right to avoid you if they want, and are free to choose any friends they prefer.But this doesn't mean that you are an inherently 'bad' human being, and not everyone will react to you in the same negative way.Some people may like you, and some may dislike. This is no one's fault, it's just a fact of life.

If you have personality quirk such as losing your temper frequently, it would be better to modify your style. But it's ridiculous to blame yourself just because someone rejects you based on this imperfection. We all are imperfect, thus your tendency to fault yourself is self-defeating and pointless.

Sometimes the other person uses the threat of withdrawal or rejection to manipulate you in some way. Unhappy spouses sometimes resort to this ploy to coerce you into changing. The formula goes like this: "Either you do such and such or we're all through!" This is a highly irrational and usually self-defeating way of trying to influence people. It is a culturally taught coping pattern, and it's usually ineffective.

It rarely leads to an enhanced relationship because it generates tension and resentment.What it really indicates is a low frustration tolerance and poor interpersonal skills on the part of the individual making the threat. It certainly isn't your fault that they do this, and it usually isn't to your advantage to let yourself be manipulated this way.

As you've realized what rejection really is, change what you say to yourself about rejection, and don’t tie your self worth to whether or not you get accepted or rejected by other people.

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Get Rid of Unnecessary Responsibilities Once and For All

Sometimes we assume complete responsibility for others people's lives.We think that if something bad happens to other people, it is either our fault or our own inadequacy. This doesn't necessarily mean that we start blaming ourselves in front of others, but deep down in our souls we start believing that it was indeed our own fault. This mind-set is a sure recipe of stress and frustration.

After quitting my daily job, I started taking home tuitions to raise some cash. I didn't have any experience of teaching but I was a good student in school days, therefore, I was fairly confident about my teaching.

The first home tuition I took was of a 4th standard kid Shorya. He was a good student. I poured all my heart in teaching him. When I taught, I didn't pay any attention to the time while teaching him as it wasn't just a home tuition for me but it was the starting point of an institute. After a short time, other started recognizing me as a tutor. One day while I was teaching him, his cousin's mother came to me and asked to teach his son Vishu. I gladly agreed and thought I was moving in the right direction.

Vishu was unlike his cousin Shorya not a good student. I thought that if Vishu scores good marks in exams, people will start recognizing me as good tutor. Therefore, I worked harder on Vishu than Shorya. He never did any homework I assigned him to do, but I didn't let this to become a hurdle in my way. I taught him with double effort. I tried a dozen way to make studies more interesting for him. I did whatever I could to help him score good marks, but I never punished him. Punishment was not a part of my teaching system and hopefully never will be. Inspite of my hard work his mother used to tell me again and again that I must beat him else he won't study. I didn't pay attention to his mother's words as I was certain and confident about my teaching.

Before the final exams I taught him for 5 hours straight, but in spite of my hard work he failed! I was surprised and couldn't believe on it. I thought where did I go wrong? I felt extremely guilty because of my thought, "I must be a lousy teacher. If I had punished him earlier, he would have succeed in the exams. It's my fault that he didn't work hard to score good grades in the school. It's my responsibility to make sure he works hard"

When we are depressed, we become so frozen in the pain of the present moment that we become hopeless and start to believe that it will never end. As a consequence of HIS FAILURE, I suffered for months with a sense of extreme guilt. I began to even believe that it was the end of my teaching carrier. I was so trapped in the pain of his failure that I entirely neglected that my other student, Shorya, had scored 93%. His mother told me that was his greatest score by far, but I was still linking his failure to myself deep down in my soul.

After a couple of months, I began to see things more realistically and realized that we cannot control anyone but only us. What others do or failed to do is ultimately their responsibility.

In your role as a teacher, counselor, parent, physician, salesman, executive, you will certainly influence the people you interect with, but no one could reasonably expect you to control them.

Let go of taking responsibility for other people's lives, desires, and emotional responses. Realize that those around us have to take care of themselves. All we have to do is focus on taking care of our own lives and modeling that for other people This doesn't mean that you can't assist others. But it does mean that it's worth getting their permission or their request for assistance first.

Here's a Quick Way to Overcome Indecision

Suppose you've to make a decision but you're not able to decide. What will you do in such situations? There are two kinds of paths in life; Linear path and tricky path. Let me tell you about each one by one. I'll share with you an alternative approach of making decision as well. I hope this article may help you overcoming indecision as well.

Linear Path

Linear path is when you can see the next steps ahead of you fairly clearly. Figuring out where you should go next isn’t that hard. Implementation is the biggest challenge here. This doesn’t necessarily mean you can see ten steps ahead, but the next step in front of you is at least visible. Once you complete that step, the next step will soon present itself.

An example of Linear path was my graduation, I didn't know in advance about my course obviously but I had a pretty clear idea of where I wanted to go.

Linear growth is wonderful. When you can clearly see the next steps ahead of you, you can focus on making changes instead of second-guessing your decisions. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy, but at least you can see where you’re headed.

It’s important to recognize when you’re on a linear track in some area of your life and when not. Often when we’re on a linear path that’s very challenging, we’ll have a tendency to second-guess our decisions. “There must be an easier way,” we proclaim. But when we rehash the decision, we keep coming up with the same answer. We’re on the right path; it’s just a very challenging path. This is good for us though because these are the paths that push us to build focus, self-discipline, and a strong work ethic.

If you think that if a path is too hard, it must automatically be the wrong path, you’re buying into weak-mindedness and turning your back on truth. Training yourself to lift heavier weights makes you stronger. Avoiding heavy weights only makes you weaker.

Tricky Path

Tricky path is when you see two or more mutually exclusive paths ahead of you, and it’s tricky to decide which path to take. Your challenge here lies in choosing the “correct” path. Implementing your decision may still be hard, but the up-front decision is the major limiting step.

Should I marry her now or after getting a job? Should you attend college or start your own business? Should you marry your current relationship partner or break up and go your separate ways?

Should you choose Option A or Option B? What’s the right choice? How do you decide?

Tricky paths can be very frustrating. The problem with a tricky path is that it can cause your growth to stall, sometimes for years.

I’ve faced some very difficult tricky paths in my life. Some of them absorbed hundreds of hours trying to figure out the correct decision, and I still felt unsure about what to do.

You can seriously wrack your brain trying to figure out the best choice. You can use different diagnostic and analytical tools to help you decide. You can ask other people for advice. You can consult with your intuition. Sometimes this helps, but in many cases the more you try to analyze the situation, the more you feed your ambivalence.

One way to visualize a tricky path is to imagine two or more alternate timelines stretching into the future, one timeline for each possible branch leading away from your decision point. Once you make the decision, you lock yourself in to a certain branch. From that moment onward, you’ll never have the freedom to experience the other branches, at least not in the same way you can now

Indecision at tricky path

One reason it’s so easy to get stuck at a tricky path is that it offers the illusion of greater freedom than any of the post-fork decisions. This freedom often feels better than making a commitment to any one path.

For example, suppose you’re married, and you’re also having an affair on the side. Your spouse and your lover find out about each other, and now you’re pressed from both sides to choose one or the other. Many people in this situation will delay making a choice, stringing along both spouse and lover as long as possible. Why? Because the freedom of keeping both possibilities open feels better than the instant loss of either partner. Neither path seems like a clear improvement over the state of perpetual indecision.

Unfortunately, when you stay stuck at a growth fork for too long, you often lose the freedom to make a choice at all. For example, your spouse and lover both get fed up with you and dump you at the same time, so you get nothing. Your freedom to decide has been taken away. The choice has been made for you. Letting fate decide isn’t a good idea because fate often makes crappy choices.

Tricky paths needn’t be huge. You may get stuck at a tricky path when faced with the question, “What should I do today?” If you remain stuck in a state of indecision for too long, pretty soon you’ll lose the freedom to decide at all. Perhaps your TV or the Internet will make the decision for you. Such indecision can cause you to waste a large portion of your life, often by letting it slip away one day at a time.

Overcoming Indecision

So how do you overcome the trap of indecision at a tricky path?

Suppose you’re playing a computer role-playing game where you control an avatar in the game world. In this game you have a lot of decisions to make. What character class will you choose? Will you explore Arendia or Algaria? Which quests will you undertake? What guild will you join?

There are a lot of decisions to be made, but few people would consider such decisions paralyzing. Can you imagine someone complaining, “I bought this game three years ago, but I haven’t started playing yet because I just can’t decide what character class I should play. I don’t know what to do!”

Instead most people will just dive in and start playing. They’ll give a little consideration to such decisions, but they’ll decide fairly quickly, perhaps even impulsively. And for the most part, the consequence is that they’ll have fun.

Sure there may be some regrets along the way. “Dammit! I never should have picked up that cursed item!” But most people will just take any setbacks in stride and keep pressing on. As a result their character goes up in levels, and they get to tackle bigger and bigger challenges. When the game gets boring, it can be retired, and the player can move on to something else.

So why do we face situations in real life that can cause us to remain terribly stuck in indecision, but when we’re just playing a game, major in-game decisions are regarded as no big deal?

Consequences

Perhaps the main factor is that in an artificial game world, the consequences of your actions are considered minimal. Regardless of what you decide, you’re not really going to be hurt. No one else is likely to be hurt either. A bad choice affects only your character, but it doesn’t affect your real self. The whole thing is just pretend. No matter what happens to your character, the real you will still be okay.

But in the real world, things are different. Your actions have bigger consequences. People can get hurt. If you screw up, you could be socially ostracized, and that can create serious consequences for you.

It’s understandable to fear such consequences because at one time in human history, if you were socially ostracized by your peers, that could be a major threat to your survival. Getting kicked out of your community for incompetent decision-making might even be a death sentence.

Today, however, the consequences of being socially ostracized aren’t nearly as severe. For example, in the USA most marriages end in divorce. And interestingly, marital satisfaction has been on the rise for decades, keeping in step with the relative ease of getting a divorce. At one time getting a divorce was considered socially unacceptable (and of course still is in some cultures), but now it’s not such a big deal. Even if your divorce messes up the lives of many people, society is robust enough to absorb the impact, and you can still press on and achieve post-divorce happiness.

Of course there are other consequences aside from being socially ostracized. You could really mess up your finances, for instance. That could put a big crimp in your lifestyle plans.

When you apply some sort of analytical process to decision-making, you’re trying to assess and compare the consequences of different possible paths. The path with the best consequence is deemed the correct choice.

Unfortunately, assessing and comparing consequences requires predicting the future. To some degree we can pull this off, but it’s tough to be accurate. Real life will seldom fit our predictions.

So we really have two problems that lead to the state of indecision. First, we consider the consequences of certain real-life decisions to be serious and important. Second, we try to predict which consequences are best. This is how we try to make a decision.

The problem is that this decision-making process often fails. The more you magnify the importance of a decision, the more you’ll paralyze yourself. Eventually external factors will force you down a certain path, and you’ll lose your freedom to decide altogether. By refusing to decide, you get assigned the character class of Peon by default

An Alternate approach to make decisions

How can you make a decision if not by comparing future consequences?

This might sound like a subtle distinction, but a different way to make decisions is by comparing immediate present-moment consequences.

What does this mean?

Instead of trying to predict the future to determine the long-term implications of each possible path, drop the whole branching timeline model. Instead of regarding time as a line, consider time as a single fixed point. In other words, assume that only the present moment is real, and nothing beyond that exists.

Your decision point no longer involves the selection of a long-term path. Now it’s merely a state change to your present moment.

As you consider the alternative choices you might make, ask yourself this question: If I were to commit to this choice, how would it affect me right now? What immediate changes would I experience?

Imagine each possible choice as real, as if you’ve already made it. Pay attention to how the choice makes you feel. Does it feel good, or does it feel wrong somehow?

From Tricky path to linear path

When I use this process, I often find that my tricky paths transform into linear paths. The indecision fades away, and I begin to see that the fork itself was merely an illusion. It was a mental construct — a distraction — that my mind created because on some level I didn’t feel ready to face the next logical step on my linear path. Because I thought the step was too big for me to handle, I created the growth fork as a way of putting my progress on pause.

For example, for many years while I had a job, I was stuck at a tricky path. I debated whether I should keep doing my job or quit that field and build a business of my own.

I kept trying to decide by predicting the future consequences of each path, but that led to analysis paralysis because I was comparing apples to oranges. It was tough to decide on that basis. Because of the difficulty of changing careers, my mind had a tendency to keep me stuck. Remaining in a state of indecision was actually easier and gave me the illusion of more freedom.

However, when I compacted each alternative to a present-moment decision, considering how each option made me feel in the present moment, the right choice was clear. When I thought about continuing to do that job, I felt trapped. When I thought about building a business of my own, I felt excited. I didn’t need to predict the future. The present-moment difference was clear enough.

This helped me see that deep down, I already knew the right decision. But I was having trouble coming to terms with it, so I created the tricky paht to keep myself stuck. Once I saw that the tricky path was a self-created illusion, I realized that I was dealing with a linear path challenge all along.

Although it might not seem like a linear progression to shift from job to business, it was for me. While doing my job, I started looking for business opportunities. Eventually I was able to build a business of my own. Switching from job to buisness was therefore a semi-logical “graduation” for me. It became clear that I could provide more value through business than I could through job.

Since that time, whenever I’ve faced a tricky path, it has eventually revealed itself as a false dichotomy. It was an illusion I created to avoid dealing with a major growth challenge. Sometimes I created tricky path as a way of giving myself permission to pause and gather my strength.

Making the right decision wasn’t the real issue. Deep down I knew the correct decision. I could see the correct path just by focusing on the present-moment effects of each alternative. The challenge was being able to accept the correct path and to stop resisting it.

Is it possible that your own tricky paths are merely illusions? Could they simply be delay tactics? Might you already know the correct choice, but you’re having a hard time accepting it?

Can you recognize the pattern that whenever you get stuck at a growth fork, you use the state of indecision as a way of putting your forward progress on pause? Do you see that this is a way you avoid what you know is coming up because you don’t feel ready to deal with the consequences yet? Can you see that making the correct decision isn’t the real issue? Can you see that the real issue is being able to fully accept the path you’re already on?

Even when you’re on a fairly linear path, you may have a tendency to create tricky path as a way of putting your progress on pause. If you don’t feel strong enough to take on the challenges ahead of you, a growth fork is a tempting option. By placing yourself in a state of indecision, you get “credit” for trying, even though your forward progress is halted.

When you face a tricky growth fork and you feel stuck in a state of indecision, pull back for a moment, and reconsider your challenge from a different perspective. Instead of trying to choose the correct path, consider that your task is to fully accept the path that deep down, you’ve already chosen.

Accepting your path

Accepting your path can give rise to some interesting emotions. I’d call it a combination of relief, excitement, and surrender. It feels good to leave the state of indecision behind, but it can also feel uncomfortable because now you have to get to work. You can no longer hide behind the excuse of indecision.

The feeling that “Crap… this is gonna be hard! I’m not even sure I can do this…” is perfectly normal. I experience that feeling every time I get past a growth fork. On the one hand, I know the decision is correct. But on the other hand, I don’t feel quite ready for the path ahead. I glance at the level 30 monster down the road, and I’m concerned because my character is only at level 20.

But once you stop asking, “Am I really supposed to tackle that level 30 monster?” and you fully accept that yes, you’re the hero assigned to it, this helps to shift your focus. The indecision evaporates, and you surrender to the path ahead. You realize you’re going to have to build your character beyond level 20, so you can prove a match for that monster.

“I don’t know what to do” is an excuse that really means, “I don’t feel strong enough to take the next step.” In other words, “I don’t know what to do” is pure nonsense. Of course you know what to do. You’re just scared that you won’t be able to handle it.

The funny thing is that if you poured all the energy being wasted on worry and indecision into building your character, the monster ahead would soon be no match for you.

Which path of your growth fork makes you think, “Gosh… I dunno if I can do that. That looks pretty tough. That’s a pretty scary monster”? Is it the entrepreneurial path? The path of improving your diet? The path of marriage? Which path will push your character to progress from level 20 to level 30?

Take heart that other heroes have already defeated that same monster you must face. Others have already reached the level you’re trying to reach. You can train up to their level if you work at it. Your level 30 challenge looks difficult because you’re looking at it through the eyes of a level 20 character, but you don’t have to remain a level 20 character forever.

Drop the excuse of indecision, and start working on level 21 today.

10 Myths About Bodybuilding

1.Supplements Are Necessary for Bodybuilding
Most people think that supplements are necessary for body building as many professional body builders take supplements but it's not true.Introducing supplements will only make a 10% difference at best, if your traning, nutrition and lifestyle are operating on the optimal end of the spectrum.Supplements work in synergy with traning, nutrition and sleep habits. The only thing those supplements advertisements will deliver is a lighter wallet.

Powders are nothing more than crushed up food and are loaded with artificial flavoring, preservatives, and lots of chemicals. Shakes may assist you in reaching your goal calories but don't kid yourself into believing that they will have the same anabolic effect as food. Don't let any supplement ad convince you otherwise.Preservatives, flavors and sugar basically turns your insides into a toxic waste dump.It's a choice you can take supplements if you want but you certainly don't have to.

2. You should alternate between low intensity phases and high intensity phases
Your muscles only gets bigger as a result of applying most fundamental principal progressive overload. When a muscle is subjected to a degree of unaccustomed stress and effort, muscle adapts to the added stress by growing larger. Remember that your muscles will only enlarge if you give them sufficient reason to. Ask yourself "How will your muscles grow if you reduce the overload for a low intensity phase?" No new muscle can be built because there is no overload.If you are training light you're wasting your time and body's resources. If the intensity is decreased for a number of days, strength and muscle mass gains will deteriorate very rapidly. If you're going to rest then rest; If you're going to train hard train hard.
Many magzines tells that progressive overload is as simple as doing more sets, more reps and more weight, nevertheless, it's partly true. If doing more sets was the answer, then high volume workouts, found in bodybuilding magazines, would be the key, and you would probably already be massive and ripped. Doing more reps is definately out of question, because every lady who lifted their pink colored weights with high reps would be muscular. And simply lifting more weight is not the answer because I know guys who can lift a lot of weight a few times and they are not the bigger guys.

3.If you're not getting bigger blame it on your genetics
The fact is we cannot choose our parents. Blaming your genetics is an excuse for the lazy. The genetics are not the problem- the problem is you! but ,if you're really genetic cursed, you'll always have to work a little harder to keep up to par. By training smarter and harder you can overcome most obstacle and conceal your shortcomings.

4.If you don't see results after few years take steroids
If you want to get bigger, you must give your muscles a reason to grow. Most people have heard this but they aren't aware about the second part of the equation - recovery. Your muscle gains are 100% responsible for overloading them with more weight and reps, but as intensity increases over the years so does your need for more rest.
Certainly, taking steroids will help you but at the expense of health risks like cancer, impotence, hair loss and heart disease etc. Steroids increase your hormone production above normal levels, they allow you to be sloppy with your recovery, diet and train carelessly and still make significant gains. Taking drugs will cure your problem because you'll be able to train more often and recover quicker - but why? would you rather not just take more rest days to ensure recovery? would you not just train smarter and a little bit harder instead of taking steroids?

5.I'm Traning to Sculpt, Tone, Shape and Define
Most people belive that they can literally shape or define a muscle, however, it's not true. Your muscles have an origin and insertion point, influenced by your genetics, and those factors will determine how a muscle is shaped.
There is no such thing as toning a fat arm. You either get rid of the fat and make it more defined or you build muscle and make it bigger. Your body can do one of four things - gain or lose fat and gain or lose muscle. The shape of your muscle is determined by your genetic makeup. When you work a muscle, any muscle, it operates on the "all-or-nothing" principal, meaning that each muscle fibre recruited to do a lift.

6.High Reps Equal Getting Cut and Low Reps Equal Mass

Muscle cuts are a reflection of two features on the body: pure muscle size and the low levels of body fat. If you want to build massive muscles get ready to apply the fundamental principal of progressive overload. And if you want to get cut and ripped be prepared to drop your body fat levels. Your muscles are either growing, shrinking or staying the same. If you want your muscle to grow simly exose it to progressive overload.


7.You Must Train to Failure for Best Results

Training to failure means going to the point in a set where you are physically incapable of going just one more rep is preached as the most promised rule to make continual muscle gains. Your body's primary function in life is to survive it will adapt only to the point where your body has sufficient defense to whatever element it's exposed.
Your muscles are designed to respond and to adopt to stress. Force them to do extra work and they adapt by getting bigger. Once your muscles perform more work than your previous workout your mission is accomplished. You have achieved progressive overload and it is time to move on to the next muscle group. There is no honor in continuing a Nazi torture session for another 45 minutes on the same muscle after it has already surpassed its previous work threshold. This leads to wasted energy that could be utilized growing muscle and result in a delayed recovery.

8.Train Instinctively and "Listen to Your Body"

Do competitive long distance athletes train without their stopwatch? Do swimmers work out without measuring the distance and time of each interval? Of course not. So why would someone trying to build muscle favor an ineffective and unproven tool that can lead you astray? Building muscle is based on improving the intensity of the workout progressively in each session. So why complicate things by following this 'inner compass' that has no idea of the difference between 9 reps with 225 lbs in 30 seconds and 13 reps with 185 reps in 45 seconds? Aside from listening to your body and hearing your mind say stop, can you really decipher which was more intense?


9. Getting a Pump is Necessary for Muscular Size

The muscle pump is described as when you put your muscles under an extended period of constant tension. As your muscles stretch and contract they become gorged with blood, making them feel tighter and fuller.Getting a muscle pump isn't necessary for muscle growth. Doing 100 reps with a light rep will create a huge pump, but will this make your muscle grow? of course not! Distance runners get a pump in their legs when they sprint up-hill.Do they get big muscle? No!
The main problem with training for the pump is that it leads to muscular fatigue and not muscular overload. Muscular fatigue is when you lift moderate weights for higher reps and you can not complete the set because of the burning sensation caused from the lactic acid buildup which results from a lack of oxygen to the muscle. If you get a good pump then it's okay but it's not at all necessary for muscle growth. Don't neglect the fact that you are taxing and depleting your central nervous system, hormonal system and immune system.


10.Yesterday Was Chest Day, Today Is Leg Day and Tomorrow is Arm Day

Splitting up a routine is fine and has some benefits but it is also the fastest way to over-train and burn out. Remember that you don't get stronger in the gym - you get stronger and bigger when you go home, rest, sleep, eat and are fully recovered. To super compensate from your previous workout your muscles aren't the only things that must experience a full recovery.

Myths About Meditation

1. Meditation is too complicated.

Meditation is too complicated.

Meditaion seems complicated because there's a lot to learn in the begining,such as controlling your thoughts, empty your mind etc.it does take a while to learn the basics, but most of it isn't that difficult.Just get yourself a good book on the subject, and you'll be off to a great start.I recommend picking up a copy of "8 Minute Meditaion".

Don't let the initial lerning curve get you down. You only need to learn this info once.If you set things up right, the ongoing practise of meditaion doesn’t have to be a nightmare.

2. You Have to Have Asolute Silence to Meditate.

Most people think meditation can only be done properly in absolute silence, such as on a mountain. But that's just not true.

Meditation is about allowing "what is".

How to decide which carrier is for you?

Suppose you have multiple interests. Suppose you like painting, teaching, writing, yoga and singing. Choosing one of them as your carrier means denying others permanently.How will you choose one of them as your carrier?

Sometimes young people are paralyzed when faced with choosing a lifetime career. Picking one thing means denying yourself everything else. What if you have a lot of different interests?

Pick one career and get started. Go into it with the expectation of mastering it, but also feel free to move onto something else when you get bored. A career switch will often give you much more growth than staying in the same line of work for decades.

Consider Leonardo da Vinci, one of the greatest geniuses of all time (if not THE greatest). His interests included painting, sculpting, engineering, architecture, science, geology, anatomy, flight, optics, gravity, and lots more. This variety of interests served him well because he was able to use his scientific knowledge to improve his art (more realistic and precise artwork) and his art skills to improve his science (detailed drawings and diagrams).

Instead of trying to follow 10 different interests at once though, try to focus on one or two at a time. But keep open the possibility that you can switch down the road. So if you love art and music and medicine but can’t find a way to combine them into a single career, try pursuing one in your 20s and 30s, one in your 40s and 50s, and another in your 60s and 70s.

As you age your priorities will shift. There’s a strong chance that the career you choose at age 20 will be a lot less interesting to you at age 35. Even if you have to take a massive pay cut to do something else, it may be worth it for the experience. The money isn’t going to make you happy anyway if you no longer love what you do.

Let your career become a dynamic experience instead of a static one if that appeals to you. The people around you will probably whine a lot when you switch careers, but don’t let that bother you. There’s no honor in sticking to a path that doesn’t have a heart.

How to Suppress Negative Thoughts

Suppose you have a bad habit of dwelling too much on the same negative thoughts. And suppose there is no outward physical association associated to them. It's just negative thinking, like "I'm an idiot" or "I cannot do this" or "I'm going to be a bald-head".How do you break a habit when it's entirely in your mind?

There are actually quite a number of ways to suppress negative thoughts. The basic idea is, however, the same to replace the old thought with a new one. If you resist the negative thought, you will reinforce it and make it even worse.

Here is a little method that I use to suppress negative thoughts. Instead of trying to resist the negative thought you will redirect it. In this method we take the energy of negative thought and re-channel it into a positive thought. With a little practice whenever the negative thought occur your mind will automatically flow into the linked positive thought.It's similar to pavlov's dogs learning to salivate when the bell rang.

Here how it works:

Lets assume your negative thought is a subvocalization, meaning that it's like you hear a voice in your head that says something you want to change, like, "I'm going to be a bald-head" or " I'm an idiot". If the negative thought is visual or kinesthetic( a gut feeling), you can use a similar process. In many cases the thought will manifest as a combination of all three( visual, auditory and kinesthetic).

Step 1: Turn the negative thought into a mental image.

Take that little voice, and turn it into a corresponding mental picture. For example, if your thought is, “I’m an idiot,” imagine yourself wearing a dunce cap, dressed very foolishly, and jumping around like a dork. See yourself surrounded by other people all pointing at you while you shout, “I’m an idiot.” The more you exaggerate the scene, the better. Imagine bright colors, lots of animation, rapid movement, and even sexual imagery if it helps you remember. Rehearse this scene over and over in your mind until you reach the point where thinking the negative thought automatically brings up this goofy imagery.

If you have trouble visualizing, you can also do the above in an auditory fashion. Translate the negative thought into a sound, such as a jingle that you sing. Go through the same process with sound instead of imagery. It works either way. I happen to prefer the visual method though.

Step 2: Select an empowering replacement thought.

Now decide what thought you’d like to have instead of the negative one. So if you’ve been thinking, “I’m an idiot,” maybe you’d like to replace that with “I’m brilliant.” Choose a thought that empowers you in a way that disrupts the disempowering effect of the original negative thought.

Step 3: Turn the positive thought into a mental image.

Now go through the same process you used in Step 1 to create a new mental scene from the positive thought. So with the example “I’m brilliant,” you might imagine yourself standing tall, posing like Superman with your hands on your hips. Picture a giant light bulb appearing just above your head. The bulb turns on so bright that it’s blinding, and you see yourself yelling, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!” Again, keep rehearsing this scene until merely thinking the positive line automatically brings up the associated imagery.

Step 4: Mentally chain the two images together.

Now take the images in Step 1 and Step 3, and mentally glue them together. This trick is used in memory techniques like chaining or pegging. You want to morph the first scene into the second scene. The NLP swish pattern would have you do a straight cut from one scene to the next, but I recommend you animate the first scene into the second. A cut is very weak glue and often won’t stick. So instead pretend you’re the director of a movie. You have the opening scene and the closing scene, and you have to fill in the middle. But you only have a few seconds of film left, so you want to find a way to make the transition happen as quickly as possible.

For example, one of the hecklers in the first scene might throw a light bulb at the idiot version of you. The idiot you catches the bulb and screws it into the top of his head, wincing at the pain. The bulb then grows into a giant bulb and turns on so bright it blinds all the hecklers. You rip off your dorky clothing to reveal a shining white robe beneath it. You stand tall like Superman and yell confidently, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!” The hecklers fall to their knees and begin worshipping you. Again, the more exaggeration you use, the better. Exaggeration makes it easier to remember the scene because our brains are designed to remember the unusual.

Once you have the whole scene worked out, mentally rehearse it for speed. Replay the whole scene over and over until you can imagine it from beginning to end in under 2 seconds, ideally in under 1 second. It should be lightning fast, much faster than you’d see in the real world.

Step 5: Test.

Now you need to test your mental redirect to see if it works. It’s a lot like an HTML redirect — when you input the old negative URL, your mind should automatically redirect you to the positive one. Merely thinking the negative thought should rapidly bring up the positive thought. If you’ve done this correctly, you won’t be able to help it. The negative thought is the stimulus that causes your mind to run the whole pattern automatically. So whenever you happen to think, “I’m an idiot,” even without being fully aware of it, you end up thinking, “I’m brilliant.”

If you’ve never done visualizations like this before, it may take you several minutes or longer to go through this whole process. Speed comes with practice. The whole thing can literally be done in seconds once you get used to it. Don’t let the slowness of the first time through discourage you. This is a learnable skill like any other, and it probably will feel a bit awkward the first time.

Give this process a try the next time you notice yourself dwelling on a negative thought. I think you’ll find it very empowering. And feel free to share it with others who could use a mental pick-me-up.