Gotten Rejected Lately? Read This..

Most of the time, fear of rejection hold us back from trying to start new relationship, and meet new people. Rejection is painful because often we tie it to words such as inadequate, loser and useless, and it's even much more painful to those people who are very touchy or who have low self-esteem. In this post I'll tell you about what rejection really is, and why it's pointless to overwhelm yourself just because you get rejected.

Suppose you are interested in someone , but it turns out you're not his or her cup of tea. Perhaps your looks or religion is the problem. Maybe you are too short, tall, fat or thin etc. Since you don't fit that person's mental image of an ideal mate closely enough, he or she gives you the cold shoulder.

It certainly feels bad if someone rejects you for your looks or something else, but it's not at all yours fault.The individual is simply turning you down because of subjective preferences and tastes. One person may like apples better than mangoes. Does this mean that mangoes is inherently undesirable?

If you have an appealing personality, it will be much easier for you to attract people. But no one can turn on each and every person they meet;even the beautiful and handsome types will have to cope with rejection sometimes.

For example, once while I was watching 'Kaun Banega Crorpati 2 series' on TV, I saw a woman insulted Sharukh khan, who was the host of that program, and refused his request to let him hug her. Sharukh khan is one of the most handsome actor in Bollywood. If someone can reject a man, who is a well-known actor, then it's not that bad if someone gives you the cold shoulder.

Let's consider a different situation.Suppose most of the people reject you not because of your looks or personality, but because you turn them off with your abrasive mannerism. You may think that's certainly yours fault, but it's not your fault if you are angrily rejected by someone because of a personal fault.

No one is obliged to reject you since he finds things about you he doesn't like.They can point out what they don't like about your behavior, or they can learn not to let it bother them so much.Of course, they have the right to avoid you if they want, and are free to choose any friends they prefer.But this doesn't mean that you are an inherently 'bad' human being, and not everyone will react to you in the same negative way.Some people may like you, and some may dislike. This is no one's fault, it's just a fact of life.

If you have personality quirk such as losing your temper frequently, it would be better to modify your style. But it's ridiculous to blame yourself just because someone rejects you based on this imperfection. We all are imperfect, thus your tendency to fault yourself is self-defeating and pointless.

Sometimes the other person uses the threat of withdrawal or rejection to manipulate you in some way. Unhappy spouses sometimes resort to this ploy to coerce you into changing. The formula goes like this: "Either you do such and such or we're all through!" This is a highly irrational and usually self-defeating way of trying to influence people. It is a culturally taught coping pattern, and it's usually ineffective.

It rarely leads to an enhanced relationship because it generates tension and resentment.What it really indicates is a low frustration tolerance and poor interpersonal skills on the part of the individual making the threat. It certainly isn't your fault that they do this, and it usually isn't to your advantage to let yourself be manipulated this way.

As you've realized what rejection really is, change what you say to yourself about rejection, and don’t tie your self worth to whether or not you get accepted or rejected by other people.

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